-------------
Foreword and Forewarning
-------------
Perhaps if there is anyone left who still wants them after this matter, we will discuss good things meant and done. In fact, requests placed in comments will be the subject of the next blog. But for now, the bleeding. This does contain things you may not care to read and may be upsetting.
In fact, as said before, posting it is against my better judgement, but it may offer some manner of insight.
-------------
The Basis of Everything
-------------
The year has been full of ups and downs since before the Season even started. In fact, wrangling some of the roleplay transcribed into the blogs prior to this one here into any sense or sensibility required frankly Machiavellian political maneuvering and tactics, and provided quite a bit of argument as much as entertainment. A poisoned well of whispers, threats, and lies rolled up with poor reaction, over reaction, and drastic consequence that might very well make a story of its own some summer day...
Ultimately, however, peace was reached, and decent products were created. Inasmuch as I've been told, everyone even enjoyed themselves by the end, once we had everything set up decently. The process of getting there might have been a bit ugly, but the end result was beautiful, not unakin to the wildfires that devour dead brush and trees in the way to leave green and growing forest behind.
After it I fully intended to make a year where I caused no major trouble, created background events and fleshed out the Las Vegas setting, and quietly enjoyed a more pacifistic year than any before.
This, clearly, did not happen.
Alduin's death very early on was to end a final plot thread, provide some amusement, and do a last grand Ven style Boss Battle... whatever that means, given I have a trend of doing a different experiment for each large endeavor. Still; mini-bosses of a certain typing were ascribed to me in something that actually did give me some cheer, so I'll take it. That was where the plan kind of had its last triumphant moment, because it went off the rails shortly afterward.
Early in the year, we had a remarkable visitor, one who wrote with beautiful detail and seemed to be quite friendly, if scarred. She and I had quite a few conversations while she stayed with our company about all manner of books and plotworks. I looked forward to seeing what our new friend would achieve, especially since she had such a very different direction than many of the molds to which this place has become accustomed.
Then Aniara got triggered and, unfortunately, had her concerns dismissed and ridiculed. She left. Like that, goodbye, and gone forever. I truly regret I hadn't been there to try to console her or try to work out a workaround or even just gotten another site to go and keep talking to her at if ZFRP could not accommodate her needs, but such was not to be, and I would never hear from her again.
That was the moment that Theologian was born, as a thought and as a motive. RubyChao once complained, correctly, that it felt like a way of telling you what was wrong with RP. That comment was completely on the nose, if in a complaint; which wasn't actually unanticipated or unmerited, mind.
The basic thought was to create an entity that existed as an exasperated exemplar of the many issues and complaints I had and that could not be dispelled by request or diplomacy or plain breaking down and crying in the writing room. It would incorporate elements of recurring issues, themes, and moral stances, and serve as a black mirror to the Kobbers and ZFRP itself. In order to do it effectively, it had to have universal access of some manner, it had to be difficult to contain or dispel, and it had to chafe the readers so badly that eventually they got the points that couldn't get through otherwise, while, in the best of worlds, destroying some of the matters along the way.
It was both a hideous failure and a hideous success in many regards.
There were rules set along the way for myself- however much it meddled, it couldn't actively intervene in anything someone else was doing to any real effectual level, it couldn't control someone- only suggest, it had to be something you could destroy if you were clever about it (although I would point out flaws in simplistic quick-fix solutions), it had to ultimately answer for what it did even if you didn't defeat it straight out, it could never overpower a kobber in a fight and probably wouldn't get into those, and, of course, it had to be a character, no matter how much it was a set of ill intended meta points as well. My goodness was that a run-on sentence. That's another shame to add to the list.
Humor and backstory were steeped into it, as well as the entity itself eventually getting a mythic descriptor and the being's own persona being comedic and affable when it wasn't being deliberately malignant.
The ultimate plan the creature evinced was one that has been the subject of quite a bit of snark and snarl as it is; that messing with and blending realities can ultimately be bad, if it takes away the dimensions of what is real and what can be. Blending everything until there was no distinction and vengeance could be achieved on everything by everyone, no matter the power, history, or winsome smile, was at once warning and satire on what it occasionally felt like was already happening to ZFRP. The very basis of the universe would be destroyed not by oblivion, but by too much inclusion.
Ultimately, it was a bad idea from the beginning based on a bad reaction to a bad idea to bad reactions; but that was the way this year played.
Black mirroring is a game that can only be played for as long as one's own tolerance holds out, however, and eventually there came a point between plots that should probably be obvious from other conversations to those associated with all of this anyway and a certain event that anger, disappointment, and contempt proved to be in entirely more abundance than my affection for the writers and the stories we made not included in Theologian's rhetoric or actions could rival.
At that point in the timeline, I exploded, threw down my cards, spelled out why ignoring some of the matters is neither fair nor probable, and demanded to be banned... because I knew that I am not Aniara, as much as much of my remaining resentment at the notions of our community is for the sake of artists like her and the friends I had to warn away after that incident when I had prior hoped to get them enrolled and involved. If I wasn't hindered, I would crawl back when the immediate wrath ran out, because I'm an RP addict, I do hold a great amount of affection for the writers and stories, and because it was- and still is- the most convenient way to stay in touch with one of my best friends.
I was not banned and, true to form, I dragged myself back as a sad lump of shame, then finished out the year, albeit taking off a great deal of time from involvement and plotting in October as compared to prior months. Now we're at the end. Theologian had to be resolved by a preset deal; I had looked forward to the cops and Justice angle, but such was not to be.
With quite enough time wasted on that, it was a wonder there was room for other errors, but there are the entirety of the
Chatzy Cornwind Chronicles
that explain themselves in their vehemence and venom, frankly, and need no repeating here.
However, one of the sagas, given their author's propensity for writing out lyrics to events, shall be given another song comparison! Everybody's Fool is fairly on point for it.
Then there was the infamous shunting of Mob, which, under JRM's influence, turned into something more constructive with Harpy's willing help, but, unfortunately, did begin in a manner that wasn't fair to her.
Lucky was another problem character, at first meant to be a Robbie transplant incubator that during the first few days was actually properly utilized for her purpose- which left a loose end that developed into a yarn ball of knotted cords and tears, eventually. She got saddled with both tractor luck and the role of dump character for poor situations and overflowing emotions. Nonetheless, she kept developing, in the figurative and literal senses, and eventually became a character... several times, during several instances. Each time she upgraded, she basically got a new one.
But she eventually got to a good place in her life! Met a gal, met a G Nerique, bonded, went on an adventure, had friends, had an uber badass power-
-had to strip that immediately. Frankly, it was entirely too much and it had far too many applications. Velocity control made her overpowered.
In the wake of that and with the taste of tuesdays, as she would look for other things to do after handing someone with a resourceful imagination a basic component of the function of the physics of the multiverse to play with, there was even an attempt to nudge her off the balancing sheet entirely for slipping past standards. Well, that, and keeping from killing Aggie with her. Time is a relative function when applying spatial special relativity in physics, whereas velocity is an infinite universal application that has been shown to induce time dilation. Both are finite in an observable vacuum, but one is measured by the other, and one -influences- the other.
The temptation would have been entirely too much, seeing that thing romping around.
Fortunately for Lucky, she had an accomplice people seemed to like for some reason or another that had a Doktor friend, and friends of her own. Draco and Brine saved the character from being blotted off for beginning to follow supershenanigans. Now she's got a chance at a happier ending.
...
I'm quite sure there were other sins, but for the life of me I can't recall them after all that rambling. Most of them were probably mentioned in Chatzy anyway. If you would rather point one out and see it here than do one of the suggestions for actual good things for the next blog, please feel free. If you would like to leave scathing remarks, criticisms, rightful judgement, or other reactions to this blog instead, again, please feel free.
Mea Maxima Culpa, Kyrie Elison
Foreword and Forewarning
-------------
Perhaps if there is anyone left who still wants them after this matter, we will discuss good things meant and done. In fact, requests placed in comments will be the subject of the next blog. But for now, the bleeding. This does contain things you may not care to read and may be upsetting.
In fact, as said before, posting it is against my better judgement, but it may offer some manner of insight.
-------------
The Basis of Everything
-------------
The year has been full of ups and downs since before the Season even started. In fact, wrangling some of the roleplay transcribed into the blogs prior to this one here into any sense or sensibility required frankly Machiavellian political maneuvering and tactics, and provided quite a bit of argument as much as entertainment. A poisoned well of whispers, threats, and lies rolled up with poor reaction, over reaction, and drastic consequence that might very well make a story of its own some summer day...
Ultimately, however, peace was reached, and decent products were created. Inasmuch as I've been told, everyone even enjoyed themselves by the end, once we had everything set up decently. The process of getting there might have been a bit ugly, but the end result was beautiful, not unakin to the wildfires that devour dead brush and trees in the way to leave green and growing forest behind.
After it I fully intended to make a year where I caused no major trouble, created background events and fleshed out the Las Vegas setting, and quietly enjoyed a more pacifistic year than any before.
This, clearly, did not happen.
Alduin's death very early on was to end a final plot thread, provide some amusement, and do a last grand Ven style Boss Battle... whatever that means, given I have a trend of doing a different experiment for each large endeavor. Still; mini-bosses of a certain typing were ascribed to me in something that actually did give me some cheer, so I'll take it. That was where the plan kind of had its last triumphant moment, because it went off the rails shortly afterward.
Early in the year, we had a remarkable visitor, one who wrote with beautiful detail and seemed to be quite friendly, if scarred. She and I had quite a few conversations while she stayed with our company about all manner of books and plotworks. I looked forward to seeing what our new friend would achieve, especially since she had such a very different direction than many of the molds to which this place has become accustomed.
Then Aniara got triggered and, unfortunately, had her concerns dismissed and ridiculed. She left. Like that, goodbye, and gone forever. I truly regret I hadn't been there to try to console her or try to work out a workaround or even just gotten another site to go and keep talking to her at if ZFRP could not accommodate her needs, but such was not to be, and I would never hear from her again.
That was the moment that Theologian was born, as a thought and as a motive. RubyChao once complained, correctly, that it felt like a way of telling you what was wrong with RP. That comment was completely on the nose, if in a complaint; which wasn't actually unanticipated or unmerited, mind.
The basic thought was to create an entity that existed as an exasperated exemplar of the many issues and complaints I had and that could not be dispelled by request or diplomacy or plain breaking down and crying in the writing room. It would incorporate elements of recurring issues, themes, and moral stances, and serve as a black mirror to the Kobbers and ZFRP itself. In order to do it effectively, it had to have universal access of some manner, it had to be difficult to contain or dispel, and it had to chafe the readers so badly that eventually they got the points that couldn't get through otherwise, while, in the best of worlds, destroying some of the matters along the way.
It was both a hideous failure and a hideous success in many regards.
There were rules set along the way for myself- however much it meddled, it couldn't actively intervene in anything someone else was doing to any real effectual level, it couldn't control someone- only suggest, it had to be something you could destroy if you were clever about it (although I would point out flaws in simplistic quick-fix solutions), it had to ultimately answer for what it did even if you didn't defeat it straight out, it could never overpower a kobber in a fight and probably wouldn't get into those, and, of course, it had to be a character, no matter how much it was a set of ill intended meta points as well. My goodness was that a run-on sentence. That's another shame to add to the list.
Humor and backstory were steeped into it, as well as the entity itself eventually getting a mythic descriptor and the being's own persona being comedic and affable when it wasn't being deliberately malignant.
The ultimate plan the creature evinced was one that has been the subject of quite a bit of snark and snarl as it is; that messing with and blending realities can ultimately be bad, if it takes away the dimensions of what is real and what can be. Blending everything until there was no distinction and vengeance could be achieved on everything by everyone, no matter the power, history, or winsome smile, was at once warning and satire on what it occasionally felt like was already happening to ZFRP. The very basis of the universe would be destroyed not by oblivion, but by too much inclusion.
Ultimately, it was a bad idea from the beginning based on a bad reaction to a bad idea to bad reactions; but that was the way this year played.
Black mirroring is a game that can only be played for as long as one's own tolerance holds out, however, and eventually there came a point between plots that should probably be obvious from other conversations to those associated with all of this anyway and a certain event that anger, disappointment, and contempt proved to be in entirely more abundance than my affection for the writers and the stories we made not included in Theologian's rhetoric or actions could rival.
At that point in the timeline, I exploded, threw down my cards, spelled out why ignoring some of the matters is neither fair nor probable, and demanded to be banned... because I knew that I am not Aniara, as much as much of my remaining resentment at the notions of our community is for the sake of artists like her and the friends I had to warn away after that incident when I had prior hoped to get them enrolled and involved. If I wasn't hindered, I would crawl back when the immediate wrath ran out, because I'm an RP addict, I do hold a great amount of affection for the writers and stories, and because it was- and still is- the most convenient way to stay in touch with one of my best friends.
I was not banned and, true to form, I dragged myself back as a sad lump of shame, then finished out the year, albeit taking off a great deal of time from involvement and plotting in October as compared to prior months. Now we're at the end. Theologian had to be resolved by a preset deal; I had looked forward to the cops and Justice angle, but such was not to be.
With quite enough time wasted on that, it was a wonder there was room for other errors, but there are the entirety of the
Chatzy Cornwind Chronicles
that explain themselves in their vehemence and venom, frankly, and need no repeating here.
However, one of the sagas, given their author's propensity for writing out lyrics to events, shall be given another song comparison! Everybody's Fool is fairly on point for it.
Then there was the infamous shunting of Mob, which, under JRM's influence, turned into something more constructive with Harpy's willing help, but, unfortunately, did begin in a manner that wasn't fair to her.
Lucky was another problem character, at first meant to be a Robbie transplant incubator that during the first few days was actually properly utilized for her purpose- which left a loose end that developed into a yarn ball of knotted cords and tears, eventually. She got saddled with both tractor luck and the role of dump character for poor situations and overflowing emotions. Nonetheless, she kept developing, in the figurative and literal senses, and eventually became a character... several times, during several instances. Each time she upgraded, she basically got a new one.
But she eventually got to a good place in her life! Met a gal, met a G Nerique, bonded, went on an adventure, had friends, had an uber badass power-
-had to strip that immediately. Frankly, it was entirely too much and it had far too many applications. Velocity control made her overpowered.
In the wake of that and with the taste of tuesdays, as she would look for other things to do after handing someone with a resourceful imagination a basic component of the function of the physics of the multiverse to play with, there was even an attempt to nudge her off the balancing sheet entirely for slipping past standards. Well, that, and keeping from killing Aggie with her. Time is a relative function when applying spatial special relativity in physics, whereas velocity is an infinite universal application that has been shown to induce time dilation. Both are finite in an observable vacuum, but one is measured by the other, and one -influences- the other.
The temptation would have been entirely too much, seeing that thing romping around.
Fortunately for Lucky, she had an accomplice people seemed to like for some reason or another that had a Doktor friend, and friends of her own. Draco and Brine saved the character from being blotted off for beginning to follow supershenanigans. Now she's got a chance at a happier ending.
...
I'm quite sure there were other sins, but for the life of me I can't recall them after all that rambling. Most of them were probably mentioned in Chatzy anyway. If you would rather point one out and see it here than do one of the suggestions for actual good things for the next blog, please feel free. If you would like to leave scathing remarks, criticisms, rightful judgement, or other reactions to this blog instead, again, please feel free.
Mea Maxima Culpa, Kyrie Elison
Aniara is an unfortunate circumstance, and while I would have loved to keep her around in some form, it seemed more she was unable to bend then we were, although its a shame to speak of those not present poorly. I suggested things like reviving the moribund Tabletop RPG forum for her and all, but she exploded and didn't seem like to comeback to discuss it. ZFRP may not be hinged completely on the things about families, the homeless, children, etc. but you can't really do the Simpsons or the Family Circus without some of those core components either and it seemed not likely we could either, and I only wish we could have sent her off amicably instead of how things went down. I was so psyched for the idea of a new user from out of the blue, but I would not want to cause her undo stress either with what we are.
ReplyDeleteI will say making a character to punish us for a situation many of us aren't qualified to handle is jolly rude! Many a user was equally upset as Aniara for how things went down and didn't need a few lashes to be reminded of it. I understand making a character to make us think more critically of things though, I've structured villains and character arcs around aspects of RP in a similar manner, you've no doubt seen. It's a harsh bridge to stay on, and one not easily traveled. I usually find it better a more "makes you think" than "you guys are wrong", as you've probably seen when a Cornwind character goes "you guys are wrong" and your own heckles raise :P
On another note, I think Lucky turned out fantastically despite a few road bumps, and you did have some quality cast members and writing this year. I do understand the desire to do Theologian better,time and such are major limitations. My hope though is, if there are more grievances, we can air them openly either in a topic, in chat, on a blog, or by some other means, much like what the Mob situation became after the unfortunate start to it. Just... start from the RP Discussion part and we'll pretend that's a good example :V A loud person gets their way immediately, but a cooperative person can get their way permanently.
Mostly, I'd watch out how much credence you give a single comment, even mine. Their will almost be objectors and supporters of most anything. Look around for multiple opinions instead of letting the loudest and meanest guide you. The kernel of truth is not served on its own: its in between a ton of popcorn and sometimes you scoop it up and bite down on it by accident and then swallow it when you should have spit it out.
Make sense of that metaphor as you will, soldier.
Oh, there's a name I'm loath to hear again (even though it permanently resides on the bottom of our forum and on our member list, bringing up painful memories if I look too long)... There comes a point where accommodating users becomes simply too extreme, and while some may say "oh it's fine you just have to spoiler it/put a warning", constantly putting warnings on things as banal as Celestia saying hi (because apparently that would have been literally all it took to be "a problem") would serve to mentally train me to avoid using certain characters and words, cutting myself off practically arbitrarily from a massive part of what makes my RP work for me, and what makes me happy. Not to mention what would have become of chatzy - a never-ending minefield of grey bars as people carefully try to talk about Sheep's plot or Fumes/Teddy one of Chao's silly creepypastas without setting off a bomb. It simply wasn't an acceptable or sustainable thing to require censoring of such broad, common, and beloved subjects, and a random user who stumbled into the forum and then kickstarted fundamental changes, turning the community from a comfortable friendship circle where pals pretend to be things into a rules-laden danger zone where one wrong move can shame you was basically my absolute worst nightmare. I would have lost the community I love so much, lost the ability to talk normally about normal things. I would have had to strip out one of the most important things in my life and hide it away, only able to speak of it in hushed tones lest I cause An Incident because I dared to say the word "Luigi" and she was reminded that it's Super Mario BROTHERS. The night all that dreadful stuff came to a head, I was so scared and shaken for our community that I had a nightmare (an actual, real nightmare that made me scared) after going to bed that our forum was besieged by newcomers who each demanded their own restriction and screamed at us all for being hateful bigots as they flooded the forum with angry posts. It was days before I felt fully comfortable and relaxed in the community again, and even now just the thought that we might get another google search random who brings another upsetting issue to the chat makes my heart pound whenever anyone I can't immediately place enters Chatzy (which is why I was so relieved during that brief period Google delisted us for some reason). This community is so important to me, and I was so scared it would never be the same again. I'm sorry things turned out the way they did, but it couldn't have worked. Even if the Tabletop section was quarantine, that'd still be asking people to RP more just for one person, and Chatzy itself would still be a hallway of lasers, waiting to zap whoever messes up next.
ReplyDeleteWow, I didn't realize that paragraph was THAT big. Eesh.
DeleteANYWAY
Making characters or plots to subvert RP traditions or cliches can be fun (I've done it myself!), but making a character solely to push an opinion will generally not end well. I didn't realize THAT was what made Theologian spawn, and it just makes that whole fracas even more of a mess with how far it reached.
I'm pretty sure the general reaction to Aggie wasn't that great, to be honest. You definitely weren't alone in disliking her. I did like how she was meant to be sort of a subversion of the Mary Sue archetype, because as her mind degraded CW was clearly telling us through her actions that no, this wasn't normal - she was sick and needed help. The Marsello clan and associates aren't Ravensky tier of infamous, and I thought Ash and Christine had a number of interesting and fun moments, but you absolutely weren't way off to the side being the only person who wasn't 100% in love with them. Basically what I'm saying is you aren't as alone in your opinions (in general!) as you may sometimes think - but a lot of people here tend to be subtle or quiet about things they aren't a fan of, since unless it gets really disruptive it's not often worth getting mad about. There have been plenty of times I've been unhappy or uncomfortable with a character or a plot in RP, but I only actually mention it if it's a real problem, or at least I try - there've been times in the past I was premature in making a stink and I felt awful about it afterwards, because I just want us all to get along and have a good time. And most days, that's exactly what we do, and that makes me happy.
By the way, I rather liked Lucky's little arc where she tries to find herself. It did start getting a little silly with how many times she flung herself into danger, but she eventually managed to find a balance. The Fade was pretty cool, but yes it can easily be considered as OP if you don't put any limits (or put really huge ones) on exactly how fast or slow she could make stuff.
I know we don't always agree on things, and I know we don't always get along nor do we share a lot of common interests, but I like you and I like a lot of your RP, and I hope to see more interesting ideas and fun concepts from you next season.
Unfortunately, as JRM and Goops above said, the Aniara situation felt like more of an untenable mess. I can confirm that I enjoyed her and her RP and wasn't happy that it ended so badly, and I can't think of a single person who actively wanted her to leave so violently. I do feel it was unfair to punish us for the mess it ended in, but beyond that I can see how Theologian was an interesting concept! I actually enjoyed thinking about how to handle the situation without just beating it up, and the Alliance meeting Judge Leo Thogian and working it out with him was one of my favorite Alliance moments in their character arc of becoming proper heroes. My frustration with the plot stemmed primarily from my lack of personal ability to influence it in any way in the last parts of the year, due to the lack of characters who could somehow have an overall impact (since Theo was primarily tied to spirits, gods, certain others - none of whom I roleplayed), and I felt like I was totally deprived of agency in a plot I wanted to get involved in. Ultimately, I resolved that by just letting things be worked out the way they were, and I can see why you wish it had gone better.
ReplyDeleteOn a lighter note, Fire Emblem plot was awesome. 10/10, would stay up until 5 AM to fight an old guy and his cards again.
For the Cornwind stuff, I'll just leave that as pointed out, while it wasn't all that vocal the Aggieplot situation ground on everyone's nerves - as I said to JRM once, if you have to tell us that there's progress rather than the same stuff over it's a bad sign. I know for a fact that I grew just as sick of it by the end, which was part of why I didn't even bother to get involved with the finale. Ultimately, I feel Aggie and Erdrick soured nearly everyone, people just weren't very vocal about it.
Lucky was one of the standouts of this year, and I'm surprised you felt she was troublesome. I liked her a lot, and while I wasn't expecting the Nerique twist I enjoyed it and got to show another side of Nerique as a character for it. For a guy who I originally RPed and named thanks to a Sheep joke, he's really done very well for himself.
I definitely think that it'd be best to give fair discussions to complaints first. The discussion after that certain event in September? That was great, you laid out what you wanted to talk about and explained clearly the issues you had, and we were all able to calmly chat and work things out.
Ultimately, while things have been bumpy in the past, I've overall enjoyed having you around instead of you just being Brawl-only or gone forever. Your RP's been pretty fun and I've gotten a lot of unexpected fun moments out of it in the past, and I look forward to whatever we cook up next year!