Sunday, July 23, 2017

A General Etiquette Pondering

When one is endeavoring not to engender hostility in one's fellow man, be it at a dinner table or at a roleplay, one may desire to consider the following.

A) Broach a subject you know they dislike with due caution and care for their feelings. It is entirely easy to trigger negative responses to deeply rooted antipathies, and unkind to persist at doing so after protestation. There are always times it is necessary, such as when investigating a crime and requiring details about the incident, but many times where it is also entirely unnecessary and unwanted. In such a case, refraining and finding common ground is a better way to constitute the amiable feelings required for acquaintance, business, or friendship.

B) Never design a situation as a 'fuck you' to the other participants. It can only lead to antagonism. This goes doubly when one has already dragged them along unwillingly in the first place beforehand, if not triply.

C) When they are informing you of their feelings and thoughts, or trying to alert you to a flaw, one will generally find it far easier to dismiss them and remove oneself from the equation or make false assurances than bothering to deal with the botheration. Unfortunately, this particular sloth will also make them feel they can no longer confide or trust in you if it becomes evident you do not care. Or, at least, care enough to actually take any form of action.

Albeit it is the road of least immediate resistance, not actually following up on information is also an extremely damaging long term relationship proposition, particularly if one is granted some manner of authority over the personage doing the telling.

It is not unakin to a doctor ignoring a patient's symptoms after requesting to hear them and proceeding to proscribe the wrong medicine, if any at all.

D) When requested not to restore the dregs of past follies or to bring them up again, as in point A, one should not. When one agrees to be silent of a matter and leave it behind, one ought. When one agrees to forgive it, one ought especially, though also to be diligent that it never happen again.

E) When a group has agreed to terms of behavior and service, following them is in order. When said group also makes a democratic decision affecting how things are to operate, listening and obeying are in order.

F) Destroying or assaulting a matter that has had significant detail and emotion placed into it, particularly arbitrarily and without appropriate warning, is a hideously easy way to earn both cheap drama and extensive resentment. This can include but are not limited to 'a collection of fine china pots in the corner', 'character relationships to one another and locations', 'bank accounts', 'personal art', and quite a few more, though the general principle applies to all, simply in different manners.

To do so on a recurring basis is a surefire way to earn personal hatred from the recipient or recipients thereof, particularly if the invested party is then allowed to note the mess but not to actually do anything about it, or to prevent it.

G) Flipping over the dinner table or bringing in setting derailing elements, such as 'undescribed full sized meteor suddenly' or 'destroying the beginning of time', is an act that ruins the party. Further usages and entertainment at the venue cannot be attained if you succeed, and will ingrain disbelief and condemnation even if you fail. It does not matter how drunk you were or what undisclosed plans you secretly had at the time, if it happens in such a way as to cause genuine alarm, for the love of all that is holy, do not do it.

Content that satiates and contents a reader is far preferable to constant anxiety, wrath, or nausea, and so too with the dishes one is serving at a gala event.

H) When one has no other recourse but to berate or threaten someone, if, perchance, one is the victim of item C in relation to an item F, ... don't. It will only earn ill will towards yourself. Instead, remove yourself from the situation entirely. Find a better place to eat out if necessary. 

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