Roleplay is designed to be an escape from frustration and an experience in imagination. You take on the role of characters that are not yourself, and act, as well as not act, in accordance to how this persona would. You can manage characteristics and ideologies that are not your own, live in other worlds, act with agency in a life that all too often is lacking for it.
It can be immensely entertaining. It can be deliberately saddening or thought provoking. It can be perturbing.
At no point should it manage to influence your real life for the worse, and certainly not to be the source of greater need for escape.
With that in mind, a few thoughts for those who may be suffering from mental conditions or over immersion that are not fully understood by their fellows, or who might want to someday try it:
- If your play is causing you distress, consider stopping. If it causes your employers to question after your emotions, definitely put it down for awhile. If informing your group and helping to elucidate causes does not actually help bring meaningful changes, very seriously consider both stopping entirely and your relationship on a whole with people that will willingly perpetuate your distress.
- If at any point you are consistently singled out for punishments, and you observe no such treatment elsewhere, seriously consider leaving, or trying to find ways to help educate the party on how to work with your condition, as clearly they are unable to on their own.
- If at any point you are left wishing severe bodily harm on other members, or experiencing breakdowns, seriously consider leaving for mutual health.
It is possible to care too much about a venture, just as it is possible to care too little about it. Try not to become invested to the point of becoming severely aggravated by deviation, but in case it does occur, some examples to watch for-
- Badly sold setting
In this example, Joseph Joeshmoe and you have planned out writing a trip to the Congo for several months, and hyped it up. Your ideas, your impressions, and your characters are influenced to fit into the Congo. You studied local languages, maps, and legends for the game. When you arrive, however, after spending $150000 on imaginary licenses to hunt and explore for your characters, Joseph instead sits in a McDonalds for several months.
"Joe," you might say, "Joe, I feel a little betrayed. I wanted to avoid my normal life and the things in it for a bit."
Or, "Joe, buddy, there's a McDonald's five feet away from the house. Why did we come all the way to Africa for a McDonald's?"
"Joe, are we going to see how they get supplies in to a McDonald's in the Congo, and did you plan this out the whole time we were enthusing about going to the Congo?" is a neutral and cooperative answer, unlike the first two, which are reactionary. The fourth, presented, will almost always get a fight, but is somewhat likely to slip.
"Joe, what the fuck, man? I thought we were doing X. I feel sort of scammed here."
Remember, this is something that they want to do, so you have at best a 40% of selling them at your nicest, and you might be too aggravated to actually be nice mid process.
You might hear responses like, "I have free will", "I'm not going to let you stop me from doing something", "I resent your implications", "Setting doesn't matter", and there's really nothing you can do to change their mind at that particular point. If you are a smarter person than I am, you will do right by yourself and not try. It leads to further hassle and anger in most instances.
Do not allow yourself to be sold on ideas after hearing something of this variety, and particularly from the one who delivered it.
A compromise, though not a compromise that all parties will take, is finding a way to make it actually play to the locale. Another is to move the party to the new location, even if temporarily, although this isn't always viable. Another is to simply not engage with people who will alter the plans after influencing your initial impressions, or with people who will break promises to you.
- Denial
In this example, there is a setting rule or property that is not being followed, but people will go to very great lengths to pretend that it is. The appearance is more important to them than you, a player, are, or your potential contributions. (If at any point this is true, get out of there, they are bad for you.)
Overrule: "The pool is safe and it will always be safe because there is no violence here. We solve everything."
In character, "The pool is safe."
The first time, your reaction might be "meh." You don't particularly care that much. It's a throwaway reassurance.
"The pool is safe."
The second time, and the surprise that there is a second time, might enlist the reaction of "Um..."
"The pool is safe."
By the third time, you might be re-examining local history just to make sure of things. A series of break-ins, a growing giant clockwork monster, bombs under some of the apartments, kidnappings, various fights, a magical mental-equivalent-of-syphilis monster with a domme personality, a murder. You tell them very frankly, "No, it isn't."
"The pool is safe."
"It really, really isn't. There was a murder here a month ago."
"The pool is safe."
"You can still see the blood in spots. Actually, that murder never got solved, did it? Everything else eventually got resolved. Hey! Hey. We should really look into that murder, guys. Yes, it's a protagonist that did it, but you know, since you're so insistent-"
"The pool is safe."
"You are legitimately creeping me the fuck out, man, even taking out my dislike of repetition and untrue things. Why would you ever need to say this so often? Especially if t was true."
"The pool is safe"- "and shut up, would you, it's getting hard to ignore you."
If your group is actively attempting to ignore your input, seriously consider leaving.
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